Think you have a bad job? Check this one out

Published on Tuesday, April 8, 2008 4:18 PM MDT

I am not sure of the details. I don’t know the exact dates or even if I was alive or not. It was sometime in the 80s.

My parents had been married less than 10 years. My mother’s side of the family, the Dils, had warmly accepted my father, John Boyce Bright, as part of the family. Narcissus Jane Bright, my dad’s mother and my Mamacita, however, had not extended this warm embrace to my dear, sweet mother. As Mamacita, whether she’ll admit to this or not, saw the marriage as some other woman had taken her baby John boy from her. So from time to time, mostly in the first decade of my parents’ marriage, Mamacita would say, “Toodles!” and hit the road, always blaming my mother.

“She forced me to leave,” ole Narcissus would say.

From the bright side
Lindsey Bright

She’s always been a resourceful lady with a strong frontierswoman spirit in her. Heading off her own was something she’d done since she was a kid. Her husband had died a few years into the marriage; and instead of mourning, she embraced the freedom his death gave. It didn’t scare her or bother her. But if she could find a way to stick it to you and make you feel guilty for “forcing” her to leave, she’d do it in a heartbeat. This was the case with my sweet mother.

Narcissus packed her bags and fled northwest into Texas. “She didn’t want me around,” Mamacita’d give as the reason.

She stayed with a lady older than herself. How old, that particular detail never came out in the tale, but older than 70 I’m sure.

Mamacita received room and board for her services helping this woman, probably only several years her senior. You’re probably thinking that Narcissus cooked and cleaned for this lady, keeping up the house and acting like a nurse, I’m not too sure about that. There is one thing she did, though, that the Brights like to call toodles. This was what the woman really needed Mamacita for.

“Jane!” the elderly woman would screech from a bathroom. “Jane! Toodles! Toodles, Jane.”

That was Mamacita’s cue. It was time for her to earn her room and board. Mamacita grabbed a pair of long scissors. Not the fabric or saloon or kiddy scissors. Long, heavy duty scissors. As she approached the bathroom, the woman would be coming out. “Toodles, Jane,” she’d say to my mamacita and then walk away.

Jane, with scissors in hand, entered the bathroom and stood in front of the toilet. There, lying in the porcelain bowl, was a turd so long that it could not be flushed. That’s where the designated scissors came in. Mamacita opened up the scissors and chopped the turd up into flushable pieces. She flushed the “toodles” down the drain, washed the scissors and exited the bathroom.

After one to many “toodles,” Mamacita gave the woman a wave, “Toodles,” I imagine she said accompanied by her favorite hand movement, a pretty little bird, and then came back to El Paso.

She still found plenty of faults with my mom, still, but one thing she didn’t find was “toodles.”

Lindsey Bright is a reporter for the Sidney Herald. She can be reached at 406-433-2403 | reporter@sidneyherald.com

Print this story Post A Comment

Comments

The following are comments from the readers. In no way do they represent the view of the Sidney Herald.

Lunarisa wrote on May 4, 2008 11:54 PM:

" This article was fun and a reminder to count our blessings. I'm grateful to have never gone through such an experience. Thanks Lindsey! I look forward to reading more of your articles.

Your friend from Colorado!! "

LOL wrote on Apr 25, 2008 8:50 PM:

" i got to be honest, this is probably one of the most awesome things i have ever read. "

Mel wrote on Apr 24, 2008 11:16 AM:

" Personally, I enjoy the whimsical and entertaining stories submitted by the writer. Unfortunately, I do not feel this particular article was appropriate, tasteful or tactful. However, I definitely don't believe that it deserved the rude, harsh, and uncouth criticism of the commenters on this site.
I commend Ms. Bright for trying to bring a little entertainment, with a sometimes informative twist to this paper, but this article was not it. Hopefully, you can take this not as criticism, but as a suggestion from a fan--talking about poo is never good etiquette for public forum, unless you are a democrat (sarcasm).
Good luck in the future. "

the cousin wrote on Apr 20, 2008 6:03 PM:

" I really like the story and that is TOTALLY something your grandma would do. I think if your readers actually meet her they would understand and love the story too. Its also funny that its turning into an online fight. What an exciting place you live in. Maybe I should move there.... I have tons of stories about "Toodles" "

her brother wrote on Apr 16, 2008 10:17 PM:

" thancks "

Starting a collection wrote on Apr 15, 2008 11:47 AM:

" Hello everyone. I'm passing around the collection plate to raise money to send "her brother" back to school for some grammar lessons, training in observation (it's SIDNEY, not SYDNEY), and some manners. Your threats are neither condoned nor tolerated here. I support Lindsey, however your comment reflected negatively upon her. Way to go, brother! "

her brother wrote on Apr 14, 2008 7:12 PM:

" DO NOT MESS WITH MY SISTER! "enough already", your pushing it. "Egad" if the tax funded school system only turned out more people like my sister the world would be a much funner and lighthearted place. The Sydney Herald and the town of Sydney is lucky to have one such as my sister walking in its midst. Mark my words, for any of those that pick on my little sister a day of reckoning is coming in which flaming poo shall rain down upon your doorsteps! WATCH. YOUR. STEP. "

Balusek wrote on Apr 14, 2008 8:21 AM:

" I really enjoyed the article as well as the colorful comments. I am glad you took the job. "

Paula Thuesen wrote on Apr 13, 2008 8:24 AM:

" Oh, come on people!!! Lighten up!! In this world so corrupted by politics and bad news everywhere, it's delightful to read a 'nonsensical' article for a change, that hurts NO ONE!!!! I say BRAVO, Ms. Bright, for starting my day with humor, and to the rest of the readers who found it offensive....PTTTTHHHHHTTTTT!!! Stick your heads back in the sand! "

kim wrote on Apr 11, 2008 6:12 PM:

" Hahaha! That sounds like something my grandmother would have done, had she been set free from her husband. Alas, he's still with her, and I think its all worked out rather nicely for them both "

AWESOME wrote on Apr 11, 2008 6:11 PM:

" This story is hilarious. I think it's a great piece of work and maybe some of these readers should lighten up...perhaps even lighten up by taking a toodles. Ms. Bright this is a poignant piece. I'm honored to have read it. "

Just say no to turds wrote on Apr 11, 2008 4:44 PM:

" Marginally funny, very ODD...definitely inappropriate for the readers of The Sidney Herald. I don't get it. Is "mamacita" your grandmother or your mother? Is her name Narcissus or Jane? I'm not trying to be deliberately obtuse here, but your story is a little confusing. I appreciate literary fun as much as the next, but this article probably shouldn't have been run in this forum. However, rather than blaming Lindsey for having a moment of expository creativity, blame the editor for printing it. To those who are canceling their subscriptions and/or advertising...and to those who claim not to subscribe to the paper but don't hesitate to go online and comment? Get over yourselves and go shopping for a sense of humor. Sheesh. "

turdbird wrote on Apr 11, 2008 4:14 PM:

" Hilarious, but totally inappropriate…I think the fault lies more with the editor on this one than the author. It had to be okayed by someone before it was published. I generally really enjoy Lindsey’s articles, but this one was a little too much. Was it put in the paper just to see what kind of a reaction it would bring? "

Miss Fm wrote on Apr 11, 2008 3:19 PM:

" Wow I guess anyone can write for the paper! I'm flabbergasted. Blah. "

Lighten up wrote on Apr 11, 2008 2:42 PM:

" I think it is funny and since I am having a bad day at work, thanks for pointing out there could always be a worse job.
Lindsey you are a good writer, keep it up. "

WTF??? wrote on Apr 11, 2008 1:05 PM:

" Why?? Why?? Why?? Why even write a story like this?? It made little sense, and I had to reread it a few times to make sure I understood what I had read. Do I really want to read something like this in the local paper?? I think not!!! Must have been a slow news day!! "

huh? wrote on Apr 11, 2008 8:00 AM:

" Seriously, funny story, but with the readership that the Herald has, probably not appropriate, in a College paper, or a paper in a larger community with more of a Gen X or younger following this editorial would have gotten a different set of comments like way to go and such...but in Sidney it isn't gonna happen. If this is your idea of a late April Fool's joke then ha ha...but otherwise a little taste and class might be needed for further blurbs.
Enough Already, does have a point you need to check your facts a little better on stories there have been stories where you have given names to things that are not the correct names and have had facts wrong. "

Journalism? wrote on Apr 11, 2008 6:50 AM:

" This article, if you can term it that, is totally out of line for a family newspaper. The appropriate place for it to be read is in the seediest bar bathroom in the state alongside other disgusting diatribes. It definitely doesn't belong on my kitchen counter.
With articles like this who needs your paper in their home.
You have lost one reader, one subscription renewal and perhaps an advertiser.
Good job Lindsay and crew.
"

why? wrote on Apr 10, 2008 3:16 PM:

" Why would the editor even let this run.. i think maybe some of the blame should be on the editor. Why would you want to post this in the paper. THis is why i will not subscribe to this paper either. I have also talked to a few of my friends and they have said the same thing. "

drc wrote on Apr 10, 2008 1:33 PM:

" What kind of an article is this ? I think this writer needs a new profession. No wonder I don't subscribe to this paper,what a waste. "

Mr. Z wrote on Apr 10, 2008 7:32 AM:

" I'm sorry Lindsey, but that was the most stupid, nonsensical article ever written in the Herald.
"

Egad! wrote on Apr 9, 2008 10:26 PM:

" Generally, I appreciate the wit of this writer. It is sad that the level of discourse in our society has been so denigrated. All the money confiscated from taxpayers for education of our youth - is this the best we can hope for? "

Enough Already wrote on Apr 9, 2008 8:14 PM:

" If this is the best the writer can do I suggest you look for a replacement.
She doesn't report accurately and doesn't write articles which make sense to the readers. "

WHAT THE WORLD??? wrote on Apr 9, 2008 9:26 AM:

" Is this article really needed?? Why would you even be allowed to print this?!?!? "

WRITE A COMMENT

Comments Policy:

All comments transmitted through, or linked from the site, are the sole responsibility of the person from whom such content originated. www.sidneyherald.com encourages our readers to engage in civil discussions about issues. We encourage a collegial, non-insulting tone. Comments that are submitted are not posted to the site immediately, but are reviewed by Herald staff. The Herald cannot edit or change your submissions.

DO NOT POST:
* Potentially libelous statements or damaging innuendo.
* Obscene, explicit, or racist language.
* Personal attacks, insults or threats.
* The use of another person's real name to disguise your identity.
* Comments unrelated to the story.

There are some exceptions to the above rules when public figures are involved. We define public figures as individuals who work in the public’s eye and/or are candidates for public office and/or their position is paid with tax dollars.

Thank you for your comments!